“But What’s the Point?”: Helping Neurodivergent Youth Understand the Why Behind Learning
There are few phrases capable of ending a conversation with a young person quite as efficiently as: “Because I said so.” It technically answers the question. It also answers almost none of the things they may actually be asking.
When a neurodivergent young person repeatedly asks why they need to learn something, questions the purpose of a task or struggles to engage with material that appears irrelevant to them, it can sometimes be interpreted as defiance, laziness or deliberate difficulty.
But sometimes, “What’s the point?” is a genuine information request. For some neurodivergent young people, understanding the function, logic or relevance of something can be an important part of becoming able to engage with it at all.
What a young person questioning this may be truly asking or saying:
How is this relevant to my life?
What will knowing this allow me to do?
Why are we doing it this particular way?
Why is this worth the time and effort it costs me?
I don't understand the underlying logic yet.
This isn't sufficiently interesting for my attention to stick to it.
When Relevance Helps Unlock Engagement
Some neurodivergent people are strongly pragmatic or function-oriented learners. If they cannot see how a piece of information connects to anything useful, meaningful or interesting, investing limited cognitive resources into learning it may feel rather pointless.
Consider the difference between:
“You need to learn percentages because they're in your curriculum.”
and:
“Percentages let you work out if that 30% off sale is actually a good deal, understand interest on money you loan/save, and predict your odds of winning Class President.”
Alternatively, for a younger child:
“Fractions can help you figure out if you’re getting your fair share of cake.”
The mathematical content hasn't changed; what has changed is that the learner has been given somewhere to place it in their lives.
Not every lesson needs to have an immediately obvious real-world application. Some knowledge becomes useful much later, and foundational learning often exists precisely because we don't yet know what we'll build upon it. But even that can be explained. For instance, “You may not use this exact equation while buying groceries. We're learning it because it teaches you a way of thinking that we'll use for X later.” That is still a reason.
Sometimes the Question Is About Logic
For some autistic young people in particular, rules and instructions may be much easier to accept when the underlying logic is transparent. “Don't do that because I said so” provides information about authority. “Don't do that because X could happen, and here's what we're trying to prevent” provides information about cause and effect.
This distinction matters. A young person who keeps interrogating a rule may not necessarily be trying to challenge the adult enforcing it. They may be trying to understand the system well enough for the rule to make sense within it. Sometimes, of course, they may conclude that the rule doesn't make sense. That can be uncomfortable for adults, but it isn't necessarily evidence of a behavioural problem either.
Asking Why ≠ Trying to be Difficult
Perhaps one of the most useful shifts adults can make is becoming curious about the question itself. Instead of hearing: “Why do I have to do this?” and immediately translating it into: “I refuse to do this,” we might wonder what information is missing.
Do they need to understand its practical application?
Do they need the bigger picture before the individual steps make sense?
Is the task so cognitively demanding that its benefit doesn't currently seem worth its cost?
Would connecting it with an existing interest help?
Do they understand why this particular method is being used?
Or have we encountered the occasionally inconvenient possibility that we don't actually have a very good answer either?
Shifting Our Mindset when Being Asked "What's the Point"
Giving a reason does not mean every expectation becomes optional. Sometimes young people still need to learn things they find boring. Sometimes safety requirements cannot be negotiated. Sometimes there simply isn't enough time for a philosophical symposium about why socks must be worn to school.
But providing context where we reasonably can respect the young person as someone capable of understanding rather than someone whose role is simply to comply. It can also give them information they can use to motivate themselves.
Instead of relying exclusively on “An adult has instructed me to do this", we can help build: “I understand what this is for, and I can decide how I'm going to approach it".
Find this relatable? Stay tuned for our next article on creative ideas on engaging neurodivergent young people in their learning.
