When the World Hurts: Supporting Neurodivergent Youth to Process Tragic News

Written by: Jasmine K. Y. Loo (Psychologist)

When tragic events occur in the world, many parents notice their neurodivergent child becoming deeply distressed — even when the event happened far away, involved people they’ve never met, or was encountered indirectly through news or conversation.

This response can be confusing or concerning for carers, particularly when the child’s reaction feels more intense than expected. It’s not uncommon for parents to wonder whether their child is “overthinking”, “being too sensitive” or becoming overwhelmed unnecessarily.

It’s important to understand this clearly:

For many neurodivergent children, this depth of response is not exaggeration. It reflects how they experience empathy, connection and meaning.

Why tragic news can hit neurodivergent children so deeply

Many neurodivergent people — including autistic children and adolescents — experience the world with a heightened sense of moral awareness, empathy and existential thinking. From a young age, they may grapple with big questions about fairness, safety, suffering, and what it means to live in a world where harm can occur.

Emerging research suggests that autistic people, in particular, may not differentiate as strongly between people they know personally and people they do not when it comes to compassion and care. In some studies, autistic participants showed equal generosity toward familiar people and complete strangers, and in some cases were significantly more generous toward strangers than neurotypical peers.

What this means in everyday life is that suffering does not feel abstract.

When a tragedy happens to “someone else”, it may still be experienced as something deeply personal — because the person affected is still a person, and their suffering matters.

For neurodivergent children, news of tragedy can therefore trigger:

• profound sadness or grief

• fear about safety and the future

• anger at injustice or cruelty

• existential distress about the nature of the world

• a sense of responsibility or helplessness

These reactions are not signs of immaturity or emotional dysregulation. They are often signs of deep care without the emotional distance that others may take for granted.

“They’re not being dramatic”

When a neurodivergent child reacts strongly to tragic news, carers often respond with reassurance intended to soothe, such as:

• “It didn’t happen here.”

• “You didn’t know them.”

• “Try not to think about it.”

• “Focus on something else.”

While well-intentioned, these responses can unintentionally communicate that the child’s feelings are excessive, inconvenient, or inappropriate.

For many neurodivergent children, the distress is not about proximity. It’s about meaning.

Tragic events can challenge their sense of safety, justice, and predictability in the world. Minimising or dismissing their reactions may increase feelings of isolation, confusion, or shame around having “big feelings”.

Instead, it can be helpful to remember: Your child is not being dramatic. They are responding authentically to information that matters deeply to them.

Creating a safe space to process big feelings

The most supportive first step is often simply creating space.

This doesn’t require having the right answers, offering solutions, or trying to make the feelings go away. It means allowing your child to express what they are thinking and feeling without judgement.

Supportive responses may include:

• Listening without correcting or debating

• Acknowledging that their feelings make sense

• Allowing sadness, anger, fear or confusion to exist

• Letting conversations unfold slowly or over multiple days

• Accepting that your child may return to the topic repeatedly

Some neurodivergent children process experiences through repetition. Revisiting the same questions or thoughts does not mean they are “stuck”; it often means they are integrating complex ideas at their own pace.

Silence can also be meaningful. You don’t need to fill every pause.

Holding grief and hope: helping children see the whole picture

Supporting neurodivergent youth does not mean shielding them from reality, nor does it mean leaving them alone with despair.

After space has been made for grief and distress, it can be grounding to gently widen the lens.

Many children benefit from learning about:

• the people who help in times of crisis

• community members who come together to support one another

• acts of kindness, care, and courage that follow tragic events

• systems and individuals working to reduce harm and protect others

This is not about “looking on the bright side” or dismissing suffering. It’s about helping children see that tragedy and compassion coexist, and that human responses to harm often include care, solidarity and repair.

For neurodivergent youth who feel deeply connected to others’ pain, recognising the presence of helpers can support a sense of meaning and hope without denying reality.

Supporting yourself as a carer

It’s also important to acknowledge that holding space for a child’s grief can be emotionally taxing, especially when carers themselves are affected by the same news.

You are not expected to carry this alone.

Seeking support, taking breaks from media exposure, and recognising your own limits are all valid and necessary. Modelling self-compassion and emotional honesty can also help children learn that it’s okay to feel deeply and to care for oneself.

A final note

Neurodivergent children often experience the world with intensity, empathy and moral clarity. These qualities are not weaknesses to be corrected. They are aspects of how many neurodivergent people relate to humanity as a whole.

With understanding, validation and gentle guidance, children can learn to carry their awareness of the world without being completely overwhelmed by it.

At NAPAA, we believe that supporting neurodivergent wellbeing means recognising these differences — not by diminishing feeling, but by holding it safely.