How to Support a Loved One Through Neurodivergent Burnout

Burnout is a word we often associate with work stress, but for neurodivergent people - e.g., autistic, ADHDers, dyspraxic, etc., - it can hit differently.

Neurodivergent burnout is not just about being “a bit tired” or needing a holiday. It’s a state of deep physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion, often after weeks, months or even years of masking, coping and pushing through environments that don’t fit.

If you’re close to someone who is neurodivergent, here are some signs to look for and some ways to support them through burnout.

Spotting the Signs of Neurodivergent Burnout

The signs of burnout can vary from person to person, but here are a few common ways it might show up:

• Withdrawing socially - avoiding calls, texts or family events, even if they normally enjoy them

• Increased meltdowns or shutdowns - crying, becoming non-speaking or freezing up more than usual

• Fatigue and sleep changes - sleeping much more or much less, but still feeling exhausted

• Struggling with basic tasks - things like showering, cooking or getting dressed may feel impossible

• Heightened sensitivity - sounds, lights, smells or touch may feel unbearable

• Feeling hopeless or unusually emotional - they might express despair, frustration or say they “just can’t do it anymore”

It’s important to remember that these changes are not about laziness or disinterest. They’re signals that your loved one has been running on empty for too long.

Ways You Can Help

Burnout recovery isn’t quick or linear, and what helps one person might not help another. That’s why it’s so valuable to have a conversation about their needs before burnout hits, when they’re more able to communicate what’s supportive.

Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Offer Practical Help Without Pressure

Sometimes the smallest tasks can feel overwhelming in burnout. Offering to cook a meal, tidy up or run an errand can take some weight off their shoulders. Phrase it gently - for example, “Would it help if I made you dinner tonight?” rather than “You need to eat.”

2. Create a Low-Stimulation Space

If their environment feels chaotic or too loud, help them find (or create) a quiet, comfortable space where they can retreat without judgement.

3. Check In - But Also Respect Their Pace

They may not have the energy to talk much, but knowing you care still matters. You might send a short message like, “No need to reply, just letting you know I’m thinking of you” or “Here if you need anything.”

4. Validate Their Experience

Avoid dismissing their exhaustion or telling them to “just push through.” Instead, you can say, “It makes sense you’re feeling this way after everything you’ve been managing.”

5. Plan Ahead Together

When they’re feeling more stable, have a conversation about what they find helpful when they’re close to burnout. Do they prefer company or solitude? Are there foods, activities, or routines that feel manageable? Having this plan makes it easier to support them in the moment.

Remember: Everyone’s Different

There’s no single “right” way to help someone through neurodivergent burnout. What’s most important is to approach them with kindness, patience, and an openness to listen. If you’re unsure what to do, please do ask - but keep in mind they may not have the energy to answer right away.

By understanding the signs and respecting their needs, you can help make recovery a little less lonely, and a little more manageable.

If you’d like to learn more about neuroaffirming support, visit us at NAPAA for more resources and guidance.